BE
Who feels like they don’t have their sh*t together? That’s how I feel the majority of the time. I present to the world that I know what I’m doing when, in reality, I’m mostly winging it.
I want to accomplish and become so many things, but deciding where to begin or what to pursue has always been a challenge.
Why must I make a decision? Why can’t I achieve my every goal? Why can’t I master everything I want to be? Why am I only allowed to pursue one career and behave in a certain way? Why does the world assume that I only have one side? Why do some people think that being original means acting in the same way every day?
I want to be quiet some days, loud other days, a good girl today, and naughty on other days (even now, I purposefully avoided using the word “bad”). Why can’t I be a mix of everything, why should I be a single color when I can be a Rainbow? What exactly do people mean when they say “the real You”? Why does being myself have to imply acting a certain way?
Why does my unwillingness to commit to a single career path have to imply that I’m lost and don’t know what I’m doing? Why does society think I can’t have a successful marriage and a successful career? After all, there are examples of people who have both. Why can’t I be single and happy, and why do people think that combination is impossible?
WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THEY CAN TELL ME WHO TO BE?
Why must I act in a particular manner? Why must there be “ways of acting right” when “just acting right” can be the accepted norm? We are unique individuals with diverse goals and experiences. Why do people assume that my definition of right behavior will be the same as that of a stranger or someone from a different background? When people don’t behave the way we “expect” them to, we label them as bad, antisocial, or improperly trained. People seem to me to be narrow-minded.
My cousin stayed with us during her NYSC year, and I witnessed how we treated her simply because she wasn’t acting as we do at home. For example, if she couldn’t make Amala, it implied that her parents didn’t train her. I later discovered that it isn’t something they eat very often at home. Regardless of how much I enjoy cooking and how well I take care of the house, I might not be very useful in another household. Does this imply that I was not properly raised as well? I saw how her inability to easily adapt to our ways was an issue, and I saw that she was trying, but it wasn’t good enough for everyone else. She couldn’t do anything right in our eyes. The bad news is that when people ask how she’s doing, we tell them she’s not acting right and wasn’t raised right because she acts differently.
I don’t have to smile exactly like you, but that doesn’t mean my smile isn’t genuine. I don’t have to react to good news in the same way you do, but that doesn’t mean I’m not pleased. I don’t have to react to gifts in the same way you do, but that doesn’t make me unappreciative.
Some days, all I want to do is dance on the road, sing loudly, and screammmm, but that would be unethical. The irony of this article is that I studied a course with behavioral expectations, and I also expect people to behave in a certain manner. It’s incredible how many restrictions we impose on ourselves and others.
I see people doing a variety of things and evolving into the people they want to be. Breaking through barriers that no one thought could be broken. This gives me hope that one day I will be able to break down the barriers and limitations I have placed on myself.
Most people thought these people were insane when they took their first step out of the norm and this monotonous way of life we’d imposed on ourselves. They look at people who are trying to BECOME and label them as confused, dismissing their small victories because they don’t understand how these people broke free.
I want to be MORE, and I’m sure we all do, but so many things are holding us back. We must accept who we are and grow into who we are meant to be.
I’m taking us to church here. I want you to know that God does not want you to be who the world says you are; even Jesus did not meet his people’s expectations for a messiah. He did things in an unusual way, and he made enemies in the process. These enemies simply didn’t understand him, and people dislike what they don’t understand. Jesus gained family as well; it works both ways. The most important thing to remember is that God’s idea of who you are is not what the world thinks you are. God’s expectations are far greater than your own. God desires for you to be happy and to be the person He created you to BE.
YOU ARE CREATED IN GOD’S IMAGE. As a result, you cannot be limited. DON’T BE LIMITED.
WHATEVER OTHERS SAY ABOUT YOU THAT YOU DO NOT IDENTIFY WITH IS BACKGROUND NOISE.
You have the right to be happy, sad, angry, or upset. You can pursue any career path you want, as well as multiple careers, my love. It is not necessary to choose the option that others expect you to. You can become a jack of all trades.
After all, the adage goes, “A jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one.”
